are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
