She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
