I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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