so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
