you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
