Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
