My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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