oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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