You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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