WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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