i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
