So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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