If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
We smell like vodka and hangover
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
