Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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