he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
