she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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