If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Let's paint friendship bongs
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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