I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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