Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize