i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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