I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize