only if we run a train.
done.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
