currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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