i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
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I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
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You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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