the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
