i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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