I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
