is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
bring money and cleavage
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
