When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
