This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
