i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
