I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
