Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
