You work out of a Hotel?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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