Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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