dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
