And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
