So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
