i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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