She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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