There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
