He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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