When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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