apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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