JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
