Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
