Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You're like the curious george of whores
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
