Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
The air taste purple.
Randomize
