Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
