so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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