This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
His nipple licking is glorious
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