you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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