but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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