i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
