i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
