dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
You did what with his pubic hair?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
