3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
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