You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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