dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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